Two years ago, the United Nations designated today, October 11th,
as the International Day of the Girl to promote awareness of gender inequality
around the world. Fittingly, it coincides with the award of the Nobel Peace
Prize to Malala Yousafzai, the 17-year-old Pakistani activist for girls’
education,.
At school yesterday, a number of students organized a discussion on
girls’ education around the globe. We met in one of the largest lecture halls
on campus, but when I arrived there were barely fifteen people gathered in a
circle. More striking, there were only women.
I have been in similar situations, having intense conversations
about women in the workplace inspired by Sheryl Sandburg’s Lean In, or
participating as an actor in Eve Ensler’s Vagina Monologues. Almost
always, there’s a conspicuous lack of men.
I’ll admit that I was initially prepared to resign myself to the
circumstances. But, as a graduate student, I have found that we are not a group
that settles. Almost immediately, one of my peers raised the issue—how
disappointed she was by the absence of men in the discussion. Another
women jumped, “Here’s a way we can start acting right now. Let’s go find
some men.”
And so, off went three of us, fanning out into the library and café
in search of men. Unabashedly we went up to men sitting at tables working
on problem sets and papers, men in the midst of conversations, men sitting in
comfy purple couches reading books. “Do you have 20 minutes?” we
inquired. “Can you join this conversation?” we prodded. “You don’t need
to speak, but we believe it is important that men be part of the discussion.”
We soon traipsed back triumphant, five men strong.
The discussion that unfolded was just a beginning, but I at least
felt that it was a genuine start. Women spoke of teaching in all-girls
schools, of differing expectations from families and communities, of
experiences teaching women and girls overseas. Some of the men spoke too –
of the need to celebrate men who support women and girl’s education (men like
Malala’s father Ziuaddin Yousafzai who has championed girls education for years),
of altering expectations of men that allow them to show weakness or caring or
support for women without their masculinity being called into question.
The next step will be to decide what we can do. How we can
channel our activism and idealism. But I walked away inspired all
the same – and reminded that to start changing the conversation we need to
actively invite people to join in.
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